Saturday, August 28, 2010

for the other girls

pale lips look sad and tired
make them red to be admired

little lashes make you sleepy
waterproof ink won't run leaky

bustier laces coin you trampy
pearls & ribbons shabby campy

sideways glances at the pages
leave you wanting previous ages

doting men kiss taller models
you float inside silver bottles

curly, curly locks of hair
bouncing, bouncing everywhere

straighten out. add some dye
day to day a manicured lie

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


For Aaron
cool afternoons found us marching
into the back rooms of grandmother's house
we paged through hours of musty books
and toyed with paint- chipped animals
best friends and makers of mischief
you fell asleep, your head on my lap

snowy holidays found us laughing
about water guns and rusty swings,
when you flipped cards and won games
so we stacked the deck for old times
best friends and makers of mischief
we hugged before driving our highways

icy reunions found us dodging waves
of mixed up, distant relatives
and we laughed in spite of the fighting
while we stole away for a handful
of moments to stack up memories and
deal out the last seconds of childhood.

through flurries of thoughts
hidden dirt roads find me driving
as i leave your doorstep
missing you is a frigid place to be
where scrabble tiles and cards fall
and we run again to grandmother's.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

what you never thought*

did you ever think that you would end up here again?
inside the dusty corridors of my winding mind, i mean.
i suppose that you would blush and turn away
if you knew you never left. that i never did recycle
your heart away along with my old cds. you lingered
much, much longer than the tired music of my youth.
turning up here and there to haunt my relationships.
i laugh, knowing that you are the friendliest of ghost.
you are always welcome in my closet or under my bed,
with the dust and wondering socks. i wish you would.
stay, i mean. under my bed or next to me. you could.
you've spooked my contentment, leaving me afraid of
commitment and i leave the cobwebs on your picture.
i'll keep you here, boyish and full of jokes,
our decades old laughter hanging on the walls.
portraits of wishes and regrets never fading completely.
i'll play the piano again, wearing my grandmother's rings,
clicking on the keys with every note that i play for you.
When you've realized you're still here, you'll come home.

Monday, August 23, 2010


how long could our love last?
not forever, you've said.
nothing lasts forever, you said.
then, i knew we wouldn't last.

you're taking to long to think.
i'm leaving you, i've said.
and i spoke what shouldn't be said.
you never wonder what i think.

i'm braver in my wishes.
do you think i could make it?
without you, i think i can make it.
i am too distant from my wishes.

the seaside is a haunting place
with shores of wanting.
it leaves me hollow and wanting,
looking to sleep and fill your place.

revisit this doorstep in five years.
the empty knocking on my heart
and the regrets of following my heart
will find me missing out on happy years.

where does the highway end?*

at the end of the highway
you'll find me spinning
on the back of a pickup
a rudder in a lake breeze
full of weeds and desires
where we merge to one lane
and you keep me turning

wipe away the grease spots
over the grey film of my eyes
illuminating headlights flash
across the faded yellow lines
where highways end and endless
loves merge into faded lines
you'll find me spinning

Friday, August 20, 2010

technological breakdown

you found me here clicking, clicking
under the glow of the screen
in sync we lay down ticking, ticking
i wonder what it could mean

i am making pictures, cutting, pasting
you've left the door ajar
to stay connected to my linking, wasting
i'm dreaming of things afar

drowning in the blue of background
we've lost our voices
swimming the tides of background
i've made my choices

see me blurred and fading
losing connection
tired from the wading

shutting down

Friday, August 6, 2010

love renovation

you say that i am a renovator
the builder of your dreams
giving your heart a make-over
sewing you up at the seams

i reconstructed an old laughter
in your eyes and on your lips
a room for our past-time chatter
and a place your hands on my hips

the highest towers of circumstances
i'm constructing our fate
the floorboards creak with chances
hideaways are worth the wait

can i craft something to last forever
if it rests on quicksand?
a refurbished miracle keeps us together
don't give me your heart- only your hand.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

crisis of character

in only one second
beating hearts
distant castles
i let you in
and taken
you were right there

quiet drives
summer nights
watching your hand
lonely on the wheel
can i save you?
would you have me?
sunsetting on fields
changing loves

one choice reacts
to one situation
one day i wake
to find i have changed
myths of contentment
fool my hands
and now they search
for yours

this happened before
i thought i could
stop it
but i could never
stop it
my choices are my own
i let you in
i wish you were right here

one choice reacts
to one situation
in only one second
i let you in
who am i now?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

alternate ending

two cigarettes were burning slowly and i prayed that they would never die down. orange tips glowing in the woods. we stood still as statues on the outside but trembling jericho walls on the inside. you caught me staring into your eyes. you just caught me. we said we could have been forever. we said that we didn't care what they thought. guns and distances tore away our time before, but now it would take the world to burrow through us like weeds in concrete. it would take rings and whispers. and even then, maybe we would fight for it. our words. they hung like street lights on shadowy nights. they hang on my heart tonight. what does your intuition tell you? it told me to follow you down the highway. it told me to run through the rain towards you. teenage dreams unfolded there, and again. you remembered my clothes. how did you? you loved me. how could you? i am glad that you did. endless summer nights. how i wish they were. alternate endings, cosmic twists of fate. we were standing alone again. realizing how lucky we used to be, how close we were to another lifetime. my psychobabble made sense to you. it made sense to kiss your cheeck and say goodbye. close your eyes, because next time we'll choose this.

wish for an adventure

another dream about the Shire finds me with open eyes and one sock on the floor. my hometown is thousands of miles away. my mossy hideaways and cloud creatures have floated to another girl's backyard. age fades me some days, but i am still river riding barrels beneath Lonely Mountain and riddling in the dark. you try to hold me here but i am lost most of the time. losing sleep and writing tales. searching for a map to Rivendell. something about wine from the bottle and unnecessary candlelight lulls me, and i hear an ancient song. where is my pillowcase of treasures? tinkerbell lipstick and mother's german coins. i would have ventured to Middle Earth and back with just these tokens. inside invisible elven cloaks, i'm hiding here tonight.